28 October 2009

Confessions of a rotten mother

Scrumpy is very seldom naughty, and when she is it's short lived, but yesteray I went to check on her in her room to find that not only had she moved her pine double bed across the room in an attempt to get it out the door (again) she had also detached the head board. The bed is dead.

I sort of lost it. I didn't shout, but I dished out the punishment big time. It was the ultimate and in retrospect it was maybe a little heavy handed. I confiscated the video remote control for two sleeps.

She cried.

For about an hour, she cried. A little puffy face came and said "Control disappeared"

"Yes" I said but as the word left my mouth I realised all too late what I'd said and she crumpled again - "Disappeared" means gone for good. I tried my best to convince her, to get her to understand it was not disappeared just gone for two sleeps (a concept she can understand) but the sobbing kept getting in the way. We went through all our usual comfort things, reassurance things, what's happening things - including the return of the remote - I did all I could do.

I am a bad mother.

She cried herself to sleep. Scrumpy never cries, and I made her cry herself to sleep. I'm hoping I have done the right thing in sticking to my original plan and not caving (which I really wanted to do!) but only time will tell. Tomorrow the ordeal will be over.

23 October 2009

Fame at Last!

As you know, our girls get to go to holiday club and after school club run by a charity and although we pay for them to go , places are heavily subsidised to maintain the right staff ratios. It works brilliantly and provides a lifeline to a lot of families, sometimes it's the only form of respite they get.

The charity got a large donation form BBC Children in Need and to cut a long story short we got asked to do one of those "Why we still need your money" slots they show on the fund raising nights. By the way, Children in Need is 20th November this year.

Yesterday, after a multitude of questions over several long phone conversations with the researcher we spent from 9.30 to 5.30 filming with the BBC. What a day!

First they filmed us arriving at the holiday club venue with the girls. Scrumpy was good and walked in with Hot Hubby but Bear decided to go all camera shy and locked her arms around my neck saying "Hug you! Hug you!" so I had to walk her backwards to wards the door. Once in she took a moment to get her bearings and then she was off. Phase one (for us) complete, they continued to film the girls doing activities while we dashed home to have a meeting with the speech therapist and some of our support staff.

Just as we finished with the therapist, the film crew arrived and we barely had time to wee before they had us interviewing outside the house. We were really nervous but the crew were really good at putting us more at our ease and encouraging us to stick with it. Not sure what the neighbours thought but I did see one lot "happen to walk past" - we're going to kid them on it's for a reality TV show.

From the outside slot we moved in to the house and I had to do a little talk about each of the rooms we have specifically for the girls - wet room, Bear's chill out room, that kind of thing, followed by the "Oh yes, and here we have one of our many keypad locks....."

We then had to do sit down interview and got asked all sorts of questions about what autism means (hope I did it justice, I managed to get in that what it means to us is different to what it means to other families but I laid in bed last night and thought of so much more I wanted to say!) and what the funding from Children in Need means to us and the charity.

We just about had time to stuff back some lunch before collecting the girls and heading home to be met by the crew who filmed for another two hours - you know that chaotic time between coming home from school and tea? That's what they got.

All in all, it was an exciting, exhausting experience. Considering the finished article will only be a 4 minute slot there'll be an awful lot of us on the cutting room floor. I certainly wasn't prepared for it to be as full-on as it was and I'm not sure I'd want to do it again - for one thing Bear would DEFINITELY get the hairy sound thing, it just escaped this time....but next time.....

We will get a DVD of the final film after they show it on 20th November, BBC Scotland. I will post a linky thing if possible.

09 October 2009

Twenty years and counting!

On 7th October 2009, we celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary (yes, I was a child bride!) and to mark the occasion we had a great big idea to go camping and have special meal out. We stuck to the plan right up to the point we saw the forecast was for high winds and lows of freezing. We would have still gone but our nights of total respite (both girls in at the same time) are precious and as we were both already tired we decided to ditch the adventure in favour of a bit of luxury.

Heaven is an hour and a half north in Helmsdale!

We booked into the Bridge Hotel in Helmsdale and had the most amazing food ever. Hot Hubs and I are partial to seafood and chose, after long deliberation with a G&T, lobster and crab to start. They get them from the harbour at Helmsdale and keep them live in tanks. (Anonymous stop reading NOW!) we were shown our lobster prior to cooking so it really was just about as fresh as you can get. It was just amazing. We absolutely stuffed ourselves on beautifully cooked starters and had barely any room left for our main courses. Hot Hubby stayed with seafood and had his ultimate favourite of queen scallops and I had a roe deer dish which was cooked with an array of mushrooms and was just divine. The dessert list looked great but sadly there was no way either of us could even contemplate it.

We retired to our suite(!) to veg on the sofa and watch a film with the end of our wine and a coffee. No children, nothing to do, just us.

We were woken in the morning by the clock tower chiming outside and (some of) you will have no idea the luxury it was to lay there knowing we didn't have to get up and no one was going to leap on us or drag us out of bed by the ankles (thank you "Lady & the Tramp").

We wandered downstairs for a spot of breakfast just after nine (scrambled eggs and I didn't have to wash the pan!) and hit the winding road home just after 10am. We took a back road which had been recommended for the stunning scenery and we weren't disappointed. We did wish at a couple of points we took the Landrover instead of the Mazda but it was good fun and we were back in time to relax before the girls were home ready for the holidays.

05 October 2009

Got something to say?

I LOVE getting comments on this blog or on Facebook. I also love to know who thinks what so I have gone down the comment moderation route and from now on no name, no comment.

Think it, say it stand by it.


Today, tomorrow and the day after

Today I collected a box of 15kg of lamb. I peeked inside as I put it in the freezer and was pleased to see a range of lean looking joints and chops. Tonight I've got to crate up 17 ducks ready for transport tomorrow.

Tomorrow I'm going to be processing 17 ducks.

The day after I'm going to be gutting 17 ducks.

Anonymity in numbers is a good thing.

On the subject of anonymity, the previous commenter will be pleased to read that my original 6 ducks will be remaining unharmed as usual in their happy home. Malcolm and his girls will be flying around the place tormenting next doors dogs for few years yet and it's not just because they're too old to taste good.