08 February 2010

I said, she said

I have been undecided about posting about this for a while now and have been inspired by two friends to just do it, as a kind of therapy, in the hope that this will lay it to rest and make it go away. It won't go away because it will always be there but I'm hoping I can make some kind of peace with it at the very least.

The incident revolves around two text messages as follows:

Me to her, Friday

"Thinking of getting a Wii. Can we bring the girls over for a shot of yours? Me n Hot hubby haven't used one so would b good 2 c in action. Also I'm digging tatties do u want some? X"

Her to me, Sunday night

"As much as we would love to have the girls here we really don't think our house is Bear proof. If you are able to come along on evening with Scrumpy that would be fine. Her x"

I don't think I'm being over sensitive - please correct me if I'm wrong - but I was and still am totally gob smacked, not to mention hurt to the core. This is someone who knows and has spent time with my girls over many years. This is someone who I envisaged being a long term part of their lives. How wrong could I be?

What did she think I was going to do? Feed her blue Smarties, wash them down with diet coke and say "On you go!"? We were only talking about being in her house for an hour, maybe two, under close supervision.

Bear can be hyper, she can also be disruptive and yes she can live up to her whirlwind tag, but she is our daughter so we know this. We know how to handle her and what she will most likely need in different situations. No it doesn't always work out, so what? Whatever happened we would not have allowed her free reign to wreck the house.

I have not responded as it would not have ended well even if it started that way.

How will I handle it when I see Her face to face? I still don't know. I do know that she is off my veg box list, and if she says something to my face I will be letting her have it with both barrels, audience or not.

On an active note, we'll be going where we're welcome to test out a Wii - any pointers gratefully received by the way! (and any words of wisdom for dealing with this better than I currently am)

Do I feel better for baring my soul? Maybe a little. I'll let you know if this writing therapy gig works for me in a week or so.


Annicles said...

You'd be very welcome to come and try mine but we are in Suffolk - a rather long way for a try of a wii, maybe!

That kind of comment is the type that people make without thinking. I am sure that if the opportunity comes up you could tell her how hurt you were by the implication that you would let a child wreck her house. However, I would concentrate on the wii.

I would have thought it would be ideal for any child. Some games need pretty good hand/eye co-ordination but not all of them. The hand device does buzz when you hover over the area you want to point at so if that type of sensory feedback could be a problem for your daughters it could be a no.....

Hope that helps.

Clare said...

I think Scrummpy would love it not so sure about Bear-would take her a while to get the hang of I think.
Doesn't seem a very fair comment to me-it's not like you were asking to stay the night! I would have bear at my house-under close supervision! and I know just how bad she can be! lol

Angela said...

What an unkind thing to say. I love bear and if she wasn't hyper she wouldnt be her and as you say you know better than anyone how to handle her. Does this person have very limited experince of autism apart from your girls by any chance? May be she's a bit overawed by it.
As for the wii if you don't go for it you won't know and you 2 will have great fun anyway!